In which I am a transit hypocrite

[motomotoyama]

Until recently, I was car free for about 4 years. I did it mostly on purpose. I decided that I was going to give up my car and start commuting by bus and using the car sharing services that were becoming more popular and available but then my car died a pretty dramatic death and I decided not to fix it and just start what I have taken to calling my Grand Experiment. It was mostly okay. I bummed a lot of rides, rode my bicycle a bunch of places, gave kind of a ridiculous amount of money to Car2Go and ReachNow and spent a LOT of time waiting for various buses. I'm fortunate enough that my company pays for my bus pass, so that this experiment was actually a workable premise, AND I get paid a decent wage, so that I could afford the added expense of all that car/ride sharing when I needed it.

However, the past year has been challenging, health-wise. I had surgery to remove a nerve sheath tumor that slightly affected my mobility, and just when I thought that I was in the home stretch for full recovery and returning to my previous (very) active lifestyle, I got diagnosed with three more nerve sheath tumors, these directly affecting my lower body, specifically my legs. (The tumor itself is in the spinal column, but they are pressing on the nerves that enervate pretty much everything from my belly button down.) Once I got the diagnosis, my doctor recommended that I start weekly physical therapy in order to stave off possible incontinence, which can happen well before the onset of serious mobility issues. Just adding one more appointment to the already long list of appointments that I go to on a weekly basis to try to keep my body reasonably healthy and mobile kind of broke me. I had already been thinking of buying myself a kicky Vespa with the bonus money that I got early this year, so the idea of a vehicle wasn't exactly out of nowhere. But just learning about these new tumors sent me into a tailspin, and since I am VERY guilty of using retail therapy to self-soothe, I took myself to the Mazda dealership in the University District, test drove a few cars and went home with a new to me 2008 Mazda3. The car has a TON of miles on it, but someone took excellent care of it so I have hopes that it will last me quite a while.

My original plan was to keep mostly bus commuting, and only drive in when I have an appointment to go to. But I've got a ton of appointments. And I've also got a LOT of pain, and sometimes I just need more sleep, or not to have to walk and wait a bunch at a bus stop, and I've got this car here so conveniently, so . . . You get it. I've been driving myself in a lot more than I planned. Even besides the cost of gas, I'm pretty philosophically opposed to SOV commuting, but also I'm human, and I'm lazy and convenience wins so many times. I'm hoping that I can get into a better routine, and that I can figure out a consistent pain management approach, not only so I don't have to car commute, but also because I'd like to get back to my life. I have put so much of my life on hold because I just feel like crap so much of the time, and some days it's all I can do to get through the work day and drag myself home to sit on the couch with my cats until bedtime. Don't get me wrong, I've had some fantastic times in the past year, just not as many as I'd like, and nowhere near as many as is usual for me. So it's not just about driving, or having to drive, but also about me trying to eke out as much as I can from my dumb life right now.

And to think, this post all started out because I actually caught the bus in to work today, and feel guilty that I haven't been able to do it more often.

Comments

[freewaydiva]

I have a 2008 Mazda3 and I LOVE it. It's like a Tardis. And Quality of Life is a thing - if that means you drive more, you drive more. <3

[celeste_noelani]

If public transit could get you to your appointments all over the city and still allow you to do your job, this wouldn't be an issue. You're not the one who makes it difficult for you to get from Grace's office to your office on the bus. It's not your fault you need a car. It's Grandpa's for passing on this awful condition, so blame him the asshole. He could use a little more blame.

[sistawendy]

I'm as big a mass transit booster as you're going to find, but under your circumstances I just can't find it in me to think ill of you for abandoning the buses.